Idiot-A-Rod 2010  -  Jan 24th, 2010 10:46am

I'm tired, hungover, my knees are killing me and I'm pretty much covered from head to toe in pudding.  Today may not be so great, but you have to pay for glory and yesterdays Idiotarod was truly glorious.

Quick refresher: The Idiotarod is a 4 mile shopping cart race.  Carts must be found - not stolen and returned when your done in good condition.  Teams are made of 4 runners, 1 passenger, and each team has to choose a theme and decorate/dress up accordingly.  The actual race is separated into 4 legs.  At the end of each leg you check in, then after 20 or 30 minutes you check out and haul ass to the next stop.  In the middle and sometimes at the end of each leg is some crazy ass drinking challenge.  There's also a bonus challenge at some of the stops which knocks extra time off your total.  Sabotage and bribery are perfectly legit as the point is more to have fun than win, but everyone still gives it their all to come in first even if prizes are only given out for a bunch of randomm stuff like last place and best cart/theme.

Amy, Jon, McCoy, Cupp(broken hand and all), and myself reformed the same team from last year.  We've been looking forward to this for quite a while.  Lunchtime talks about names/themes have probably been going on since October.  After a lot of back and forth we finalize on a name: Section 8 and a cart design: A Tank.

I enlisted a couple of my friends Palmer and Wilson to help with the engineering this time - especially on the cannon.  I think our build of the shuttle last year was nothing short of miraculous, but it was a push to get it all done in 1 night.  This time we had a few weeks to put something more substantial together and we succeeded beyond all of our expectations.

"Tanky" was officially born on Sunday January 17th.  His creation required the following items both purchased and found around my garage:

• 1 Shopping cart (acquired with the help of my folks on Christmas day)
• 4 cardboard boxes
• 6ft of drain pipe
• 1 4" to 6" pipe converter fitting
• 10 small paint buckets
• 1 mortar mixing tub
• 4 foam core boards
• 1 garbage disposal mount
• 2 gold stars
• 1 license plate
• 1 fire extinguisher (bought in the middle of the night off a Craigs List post)
• 3 rolls of duct tape
• 12 glue sticks
• Zip ties
• Green, white, and black paint

Check out the pictures and I'm sure you'll agree that Tanky turned out absolutely brilliant.  Props to everyone on the team for putting their heart into it.  When we rolled up to the race yesterday we were already pleased with our design.  After about half the competitors came by just to say how much they loved our cart we were absolutely glowing.

Like last year, Jon had spent the night prior filling condoms with tapioca pudding.  New to our arsenal though were beer powered squirt guns and our secret weapon - a huge CO2 fire extinguisher hidden in the cannon of the tank.  Other competitors had water balloons, squirt guns, bags of watery fudge and their own secret weapons like skunk oil(unbelievably horrific stuff).  Fortunately, everything stayed pretty civil while we waited for the start of the race.

We wandered around admiring everyone's creations.  The Disco Pimps were back with their rendition of studio 51, the Chickens had their giant nest, the CUNTS returned in all new pink underthings and our friend and coworker Spohn even showed up with some kind of giant Christmas tree cart thing.  The amount of energy people put into this race is a testament to just how unbelievably fun it is. Random people who stumble into these proceedings are always dumbfounded.

All the runners on the team this year(myself included) have been training for various races for the past few months so when this thing kicked off I wasn't surprised to see us take an early lead.  I was a little surprised however at the sheer amount of pudding, water ballons, silly string, and whip cream that got thrown around.  We all looked like we had been in a war by the time the race was over.

Tanky fared pretty well for a while and the CO2 cannon was 11 kinds of awesome.  Anytime someone got in our way we just blasted them!  As things progressed though we lost 1 fender and track then the other.  The cannon also kept falling out which meant I had to carry it half the time.  Still it was much more sturdy than most of our competition.  The biggest issue we faced was weight.  There was a challenge where you had to push/carry the cart (passenger and all) through a sand volleyball court.  Between all the tank stuff and the fire extinguisher this was a nightmare. In the end I had to hold up the front of the tank while everyone else pushed completely burning out my legs in the process.

We kept in the first couple spots drinking hard and running harder throughout the race.  Being out front meant we had to figure out where to go though and the map this year was a Greek tragedy.  We kept going the long way or the wrong way alltogether.  All the running and the drinking took its toll on me and even though we ended up finishing first, I was running well behind the other guys and there is some debate as to whether or not we got disqualified at the finish line.

The best part of the race may very well have been the after party at the Bikini Lounge.  Camaraderie, booze, and lots of cute girls made for a really great time.  There was a 2nd after party at a house after the lounge but I was pretty gone by that point.  We bailed right after the awards ceremony (Dicso Pimps won best cart again grrr) and briefly took Tanky to the grocery store for some food.  When we finally made it to Amy's house for Jon Tencza's birthday party I was done.  In no shape to drive, I crashed out on the spare bed which brings me to where I am now - recovering on my couch typing this.

Amy, Jon, McCoy and Cupp - you guys are the best.  Thank you so much for carrying my ass on this one :)

Building A Better Halloween  -  Nov 25th, 2008 5:38pm

Most of my ideas start out very small.  I think the weight of reality prevents me from dreaming too large.  That's probably a good thing though as like any engineer I tend to turn molehills into condominiums once I get started.  This years Halloween decor was no exception to this rule.  A quest to remake my living room in the image of the Adams Family mansion started out with a simple categorization of goods in the "Halloween Box".

I'm not even going to try to explain why I needed to categories my holiday decor.  I don't really know.  What I do know is that I originally decided Halloween items fall into 1 of 2 categories - Cute or Gory.  I did my best to divide my favorite decorations into these 2 categories (not wanting to cross the streams) but quickly realized that there was a third category: Creepy.  Not the kind of "Creepy" that's sold in stores that show up every year around the middle of September and sell foam chains, plastic bats, decals for windows and overpriced light up junk better suited to Christmas.  Those places specialize in cute or gory.  I mean the kind of thing that's just off kilter enough to make you look twice or three times and say wow... thats kinda messed up.

It was this third category that really appealed to me.  I wanted to live in a house decorated so that people would come in get creeped out.  Only trouble is I wanted it livable too.  I needed inspiration and turned to one of my favorite movies of all time - The Adams Family.  After all, nothing says Halloween like the Adams Family Mansion.  I watched the movie twice writing down all the everyday items that make their home the creepy/kooky place it is:
- Skulls
- Candelabras/Candels
- Big Clocks
- Swords
- Old books
- Chains
- Dead Plants
- Old Mirrors/Paintings
- Mysterious Bottles
- Black and Gray Curtains
- Old Chests
- Jacobs Ladders
- Dirt
... I also had written down "black blueberry pie" on there but honestly I don't know what hell that was all about?

I figured most of the items on that list short of Dirt and the Jacob's Ladder were doable.  I bought a pile of old display swords off of a guy from Craigslist(Note to myself here: don't buy things of Craigs List late at night anymore).  I found some creepy used books at Bookmans.  The liquor store provided me with a Crystal Skull.  I put together a nice dead flower arrangement for the dining room table.  Kristin began collecting the empty's from the bar she now works at.  I bought machetes, chains, and hooks from the hardware store.  I even went so far as to create black curtains for all the windows in the living room.  The only thing I really couldn't procure were candelabras.  Antique shops had a few but they were just too much money or not the right style so I settled on a ton of candles instead.

My crowning achievement was a giant frame I nabbed at Goodwill on the cheap.  I got some mylar from a local hydroponics place and after far too much effort created a big warped mirror.  It wasn't perfect but it was fun to try and build - the perfect geek decor :)

After getting all this crap up it really did create the feel that I was looking for.  The house wreaked of Halloween and was neither gory nor cute.  Perfect for the Halloween party I was throwing in a few days.  The only thing I can hope for next year is a budget to get more swords, and some old paintings.  Damn this economy and my compulsive behavior!

Build Your Own Entertainment Center  -  May 23rd, 2008 11:30am

I was searching for an entertainment center to home my new Plasma TV.  Unfortunately everything was either to expensive (as in thousands of $) or to small, cramped, ugly, shoddy.  Basically I have better taste and tougher requirements than my wallet can afford.  As is often the case in this situation I decided the only way to get exactly what I wanted was to build it myself.  So thats what I set out to do.  Build a custom entertainment center cabinet to hold all of my stuff complete with built in power, cord management and extra wide shelves for controlers, dvd's and extra cruft that always gets stored along with our electronics.

I'm not Bob Villa though nor do I really have any woodworking tools to speak of so its been an interesting process to say the least.  Luckily I stumbled across these metal brackets usually used for framing that made it possible to keep the design simple and strong at the same time.  Hopefully the steps below and the plans below will make it easier for someone else to build a similar cabinet with little more than a cordless drill and some supplies from the hardware store.  Just make sure to read and re-read everything before you start if your actually going to build one of these suckers.

To begin with you'll need the following:

• Drill with 1/8 & 3/8 drill bits.
• Sand Paper (various grades)
• 2 - 24" bar clamps
• 2 - 36" bar clamps
• 30 - L metal brackets (see images)
• 12 - flat metal brackets (see images)
• 4 - European hinges
• 24 - 1/4" hole shelf holders
• 1 - box #8 2 inch wood screws
• 1 - box #8 1 1/4 inch wood screws
• 1 - box #8 3/4 inch wood screws
• 1 - box finishing nails
• 2 - 1 qt boxes of epoxy finish(see images)
• enough semi gloss paint, or stain and varnish to cover the piece

You'll also need the wood to build this sucker but lets talk about cutting wood first.  Basically this is my achille's heel.  I can't cut a straight line to save my life.  Fortunately the Home Depot next to my house will cut any wood you buy there for free.  Its a big ass saw, but if your nice to them they will take their time and make some pretty good cuts.  So take the cut-guides available at the end of this post with you, mark everything up and pray to the wood-working gods.

For wood you'll need: ('==foot, "==inch)

• 2 - 8' redwood 2x4's
• 1 - 6' redwood 2x4
• 1 - 4'x6'x3/4" birch plywood
• 1 - 4'x6'x1/2" MDF
• 1 - 1"x6"x2' Poplar
• 1 - 1"x3"x6' Poplar
• 2 - 1"x2"x8' Poplar

I choose the redwood 2x4's because they are usually straighter than pine.  Since I painted my cabinet black I supposed I could have used any plywood or trim boards but the Birch had a nice grain and the Poplar was harder than pine but still easier to work with and cheaper than oak.  All in all - the wood is under $100 and as long as you have some of the supplies you can probably come in under $200 total which is shitty Swedish furniture level costs (only this thing should last a lot longer).

Oh and don't freak out if you start measuring and find out that a 2x4 ins't really 2" x 4".  I've accounted for the masochistic jacked up measuring system the hateful wood people created to try and prevent us from building anything.

Anyway, the basic idea here is to build a strong base, attach the upper frame, and then cover up all the ugly stuff with trim boards.  The brackets and screws will make it strong and hopefully straight as well.  So either cut up your wood as described in the plans or have it cut for you, but get all your supplies together and follow these steps:

Step 1) Build The Base
Step 2) Drill Shelf Holes
Step 3) Attach Sides to Base
Step 4) Attach The Top
Step 5) Add The Facing Boards
Step 6) Build Cabinet Doors
Step 7) Hooray For Hinges!
I should mention here that I did't build my cabinets quite this way and instead used a router to cut out a lip on the inside of each cabinet front where the plywood could sit.  In the end though it didn't seem to look much better and was really time consuming so while your welcome to do the same I'd try it like I've described it above as it will save you a lot of grief and look almost as nice.

Step 7) Sand and Paint
Step 7) Epoxy Top (optional)
You'll want to give the piece a few days to a week to really dry and cure hard before putting stuff in there.  During that time you can screw some power strips to the back and add cord management stuff.  I also created a screen for the top center shelf area to hide my speaker (makes it look buit in).


NOTES:

1. Download, read through everything, and know what your doing before you start.  The hardest part of this project was coming up with the plans while I was doing it all.
2. There is a lot that I've left out above which mostly consisted of I screwed up X so I did Y - if things don't go perfectly don't panic, improvise!
3. Some of my cuts didn't end up perfectly straight but the piece turned out fine in the end - as long as your close the design allows for quite a bit of fudge room.
4. Sandpaper and/or a Dremel is your friend if anything doesn't quite fit.
5. If you are going to stain instead of paint it make sure all of your wood grains go in the direction you want them to.  I didn't even think about this till I was done and it would have looked strange in anything but black.
6. If you paint it consider brush-paint instead of spraypaint.  It would have saved me some $$ and not sure if it would have looked any different.
7. Lastly - have fun and remember its the journey not the destination that matters.  This isn't the easiest project but it was very rewarding for me and took only about a week or so to do.

If anyone builds one of these and sends me a photo I'll happily post your result.  Also please post any tips and/or hints in the comments section to make life better for everyone.

A Bed For My Truck Bed  -  Sep 23rd, 2007 8:30pm

One of the great joys of owning a truck is being able to camp out in the bed or use it at the drive-in.  But while bed-liners and plastic based beds have made them tougher, they are still uncomfortable to lay in.  To solve that problem I created a padded bed that I can put in whenever I want to sleep in the truck.

It cost me about 200 bucks to build and it sleeps like a dream - much better than using chairs at the drive-in or sleeping in a tent while camping.  Here is what you'll need to make one of your own.

(Please note that all sizes are given for my 2007 Toyota Tacoma short bed pickup -- measure the bed of your own truck and make the appropriate adjustments before you start.)

First off here are the supplies you'll need:

1. A sheet of 1/4" plywood cut to the size of your truck bed (between the wheel wells)  In my case this was 3' 6" x 5'
2. Enough "Sport Nylon" fabric from your local fabric shop to cover the plywood and 1' extra on each side - in my case this means a black piece thats 4' 6" x 6'
3. Enough 4" thick heavy foam padding to cover the plywood - I got mine at Joannes fabrics.
4. A large non-slip rug backing - the kind us keep rugs from slipping on tile.
5. A bottle of fabric glue

You'll also need the following tools:

1. Pair of good scissors
2. A glue gun and some hot glue
3. A large serrated (bread) knife

Step 1) Wood
Step 2) A non-slip surface
Step 3) A little padding
Step 4) The Cover Up

Place the Nylon Cloth on the ground and then place the board (foam side down) in the center of the cloth.  Use hot glue to tack down one side then go to the other side, stretch somewhat tight and glue that side down too.  Do the same for the other sides and then use the sciscors to cut any excess cloth off that hangs over the non-slip pad.  Finally glue the entire edge down using the fabric glue so that it holds permanently (the hot glue here is just as a helper)

Toss that in the bed of your truck whenever you like but I'd suggest storing it in the garage or someplace it won't get wet as the plywood warps easily.  I'll include some extra images below to help answer any questions but feel free to leave a comment if you encounter problems or can make any improvements.